“Why are you staring off into space??” He loved to pull on my hair. “You’re so ugly when you’re doing nothing. But you’re also not pretty when you smile.” In other words, I’m really ugly.
“You’re the one who’s ugly!” I pull back my hair. “If you think I’m so ugly, why do you visit me??”
“Can’t help it. My home is right next to your home.” He argued.
“Then I’ll move!” The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.
That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn’t stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class.
“You’re that infamous couple.” All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us.
“We’re not!” I always tried to explain. “We’re only neighbors.” At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him.
“My standard is not that low.” He would say. “Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It’s not like I don’t have eyes.”
“Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head.” I really disliked him. “Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you.” He implied that I couldn’t judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.
I didn’t think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms.
“I told you he wasn’t any good.” He roughly comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other.
Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would
not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared about each other’s every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.
Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn’t separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn’t know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors. We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom. Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn’t say we loved each other. We didn’t even spend Valentine’s Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine’s Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine’s Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine’s Day together. After graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger
apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other. In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine’s Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints.
Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn’t say it and wouldn’t send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone.
“Hello.” He picked up the phone.
“I didn’t receive the card.” I immediately showed my displeasure.
“You didn’t receive it?” He seemed really busy. “But I sent it.”
He was really busy but I didn’t care. “I didn’t receive it. Send it again.”
“Okay, I’ll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??” He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each other?
“Don’t bother sending it to me. And you don’t have to pick me up tonight.
I’ll eat dinner by myself.”
“Don’t be childish, ok? I’m really busy.”
“I AM childish!” I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.
Childish?? Why didn’t he consider the situation? We’ve gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine’s Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for??
I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn’t want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work.
Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument.
“Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient.”
As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney.
“What happened to him?” I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood.
“Car accident.” The medic replied. “Very serious. He may die.”
I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped
“Prepare for shock.” I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can’t lose our calm.
But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!